What is Meeting Aikido? This probably has an actual name in a business book somewhere, but this is a name I’ve given to a particularly effective, but dangerous, technique for getting something accomplished with an obstinate person in a work setting.
In Meeting Aikido, you deliver a complex idea, broken down into the simplest possible parts, to an audience. You acknowledge people for regurgitating those parts back at you, as if they themselves had the idea first. But what you listen for is when the obstinate person, seeking the praise that everyone else is getting, regurgitates your idea back to you.
At this point, you then heighten the praise given to that obstinate person for regurgitating the idea, then credit that idea to the obstinate person for the rest of the meeting.
EXAMPLE: Red Shoes
You explain a complicated plan involving selling red shoes to New York City, including the following ideas
1. New Yorkers Love Red Shoes
2. Famous People Hate Red Shoes
3. We traditionally use famous people to sell Red Shoes
4. We need to not use famous people to sell Red Shoes
You offer praise for people both challenging and repeating back your idea, “That’s a great point, Claire. Thanks for the feedback Jimmy.” You want to subtly praise people either way, and also take in the feedback. When you take in the feedback, you group them under the ideas you had. Let’s say the obstinate person in the group is Gordy.
What you’re listening for is Gordy to say something like, “Yeah, I mean, everybody knows that Famous People hate Red Shoes, it’s why we can’t use them to sell Red Shoes.” Your natural instinct may be to say, “Gordy, I literally told everyone that a few minutes ago.” But, if you use Meeting Aikido, obstinate Gordy can become your ally in that meeting if you simply say, “That’s a great point Gordy, yes, Famous People hate red shoes and we shouldn’t use them in our presentation.”
You then wait for the next objection from everyone BUT Gordy … and the moment it comes, you say, “Well, it’s like Gordy said, though, and thanks for letting me borrow this idea … but like Gordy said, Famous people hate red shoes and we need to not use them to sell red shoes.”
You will get your way using this technique. However, here’s the danger. Gordy, and the audience, may come to believe that the ideas was his, not yours, even if you have a powerpoint presentation that you made first. In addition, use the technique too much, and your organization may get smarter, but no one may realize you’re the reason for that change.
If you find yourself using Meeting Aikido a lot, and worse, discovering that all of your ideas do, indeed, belong to everyone BUT you, just be warned, that organization is not healthy. You may want to get out.
But it can be an effective way to help a group do the right thing, if your way is indeed the right thing.