I release fixing my weaknesses, I embrace building my strengths.
It’s time to escape the trap of the amateur for the last time.
Please help me release this physical pain.
I woke up, and felt a twinge of pain, and suddenly I’m writing this down. I don’t know why I’m writing this. I just know the why doesn’t matter as much as the words.
I changed last year. I even know the exact date. I got a gift, of a strange, synchronistic day and a hallucination that healed me. And ever since, I’ve been different.
But I’ve been walking a lot in the path of who I was. When I do, I repeat old patterns, but I see it this time. For the first time in my life, after all that meditation and introspection, I can finally see my thoughts and feelings.
Every time I’m walking into some old pattern, I end up in pain. The physical pain I’m in is separate from this, but the anguish, the despair, all of that, it happens every time I live as who I was, not as who I am.
I know who I am, finally, after all these years. And it’s time to let go of all the old stumbling blocks, and things I’ve left in the way, because while the person I was needed them, the person I truly am has different needs.
The person I am needs to walk into the new life as if I’m already there. Because with each step I move a little closer to waking up in the place I was always meant to be. And every day, inch by inch, I move a little closer to there.
I finally found the gift in this physical pain. And I finally feel released from that suffering. I would neither give the gift of physical pain to anyone, nor do I wish to lavish myself with this particular gift. But since the gift is in front of me, is part of my present experience, I can appreciate it, and use it to understand and transcend.
And I’m grateful.