Losing weight slowly but consistently has been challenging, but worth it. Every other time I ever lost weight it was a quick burst, followed by some kind of maintenance, with no change to underlying habits. Sticking with “no more than 2 pounds a week” is life changing.
Everything about this has been different. I eat differently in a permanent way, and I realized today it’s similar to shifts in me that changed other habits. It’s going to be a lifelong effort, but, it’s the same kind of lifelong effort for me as sobriety.
It’s about health. And finally eating as eating, and cooking as art. Food isn’t fuel. It’s also not a reward. Food is nourishment – and that distinction in my mind is a universe of difference from how I’ve ever been before.
I hope I can keep this persepctive for the rest of my life. Like, I was so heavy I couldn’t walk like I used to. Lately I’ve been able to walk again. I’m considering trying a walk to Manhattan like I used to do ten years ago soon.
I’ve lost 35% of my bodyweight from the starting point. I was heavier in December 2023 than February 2024, but the intention and start was then. I put on my old favorite pair of jeans, and they don’t fit. I could make one of those comical photos that people take, of me in the old pants pulling out the waistband a foot.
I never want to be that big again. Ever. The same kind of never where I never want to smoke or drink or even do drugs again. I finally, after all these years, truly like and accept myself.
And god, it’s amazing to just be able to walk again. Going for walks always clear my head. To know that I can go for a long walk again without worry, that’s a gift.
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