Hey Mom. I miss you. I love you.
I’m doing good. Jade and Lee and everyone is well. You should see Justin and Tommy. Bill is good, too. Jade is so pretty and good-hearted.
I chose today to start the next chapter of my life. I’ve been trying to write that book about you. But there’s other ones I need to write first. To teach myself how to write your book, and meet the people to help me tell your story the best I can.
So, today is me getting organized and ready. I picked today specifically. My school time at Yale ended a few days before today. It was one of the quiet reasons I knew I had to go there.
I think it’s like I told you. When you thought I was your brother. That this life is about learning that doesn’t happen in heaven. And that some people choose this life to help others. That’s my karma. And yours? I don’t know. I think we’re in the other place for what feels like forever moments of happiness, and then some of us come back to learn more.
I hope you learned everything you needed to last time. I hope if you come back you learn what you need to then. And that in the heavenly garden and the time you return that your learning doesn’t come with so much suffering. Your last life had so much your soul needs no more. Our souls don’t need suffering. We don’t have to suffer to learn. We don’t have to suffer. We don’t have to make others suffer. If you come back to learn more, I hope it’s you as a fashion maven, with this mysterious ability to design that you don’t know where it comes from. And your friends love your clothes, and that you feel safe and loved enough to be adored.
But that’s my dream for you. Whatever your dream is in the great infinite, I hope it’s yours. And if I got to see a glimpse of the dream of your next life, if there is one for you, I hope it’s like the last time I looked deep in your eyes and let your soul know that I love you.
I love you mom. I hope you’re well.
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Moon Cha-Sun (문 차선)
Also known as Cha Sun Rutherford
August 31, 1937 — June 17, 2021