Some people will waste your time without hesitation. The two words that will let you know, without fail, that someone is going to waste your time, are, “convince me.”
That idea is about you doing work for someone else, so that they feel empowered. It’s rooted in narcissism, ultimately. If you convince them, they won’t really be convinced. And even then, the conversation is about you and what you want to gice, versus what someone else needs.
A person who wants to ‘be convinced’ doesn’t want to be convinced. They often just want to feel like they matter. They want some attention. Sometimes, they want to feel superior, and so they want the moment of saying, “I’m not convinced.” This is what happens with older folks who keep salespeople on phone calls – they really just wanted some attention – and the call itself has given them that already. There’s better ways to give folks in this headspace this than you digging deep and making arguments.
And if you’re doing that? You should step back and think about what you’re doing – and ask, “is there a better way for me to get this need fulfilled?” Like, if you need attention – go get that. If you want connection? Go connect with people.
There’s times and places for arguments, and learning if it’s the right time and place for one is a critical life skill to develop. Learning all the ways people say, “convince me,” and then walking away from that conversation if it’s not the time or place is also a critical life skill.
Connection always matters, to me at least. And I truly hope people online start walking away from ‘convince me’ and ‘let me convince you’ discussions online, and instead choose connection.
This all may have sounded like me trying to convince you. Whatever story you tell yourself is the story you believe. But my hope is that if this does connect with you, that you feel empowered.
Because connection and empowered people are a wonderful gift in this life.