My workshop has become a treasure room. I’ve got a shelf full of stuff I bought on ebay while depressed. Enough boxes, bubblewrap, and packing material for all of it. All of my artwork is out of storage (and I have no more storage units). I also bought more artwork. Among the treasures are maybe […]
It’s not about faith. Or belief. For me at least. It’s about acceptance. I don’t have faith in gravity. I don’t believe in gravity. That force exists whether I believe or have faith in it. I can use my rational, logical mind to conduct experiments, read scientific papers, to prove gravity to me, but there’s […]
I accept myself. I accept that I did the work, that I put effort into it, I accept that I healed. I accept that the work continues, in new ways, but that it comes from a place of healing and wholeness. I accept all of the things that happened to me, that I did, and […]
Sometimes, the best that someone can do is attack someone vulnerable. Sometimes, we were the vulnerable target. Sometimes, my mom when she felt low went after me. It started the same way every time. She had a bad day. But I don’t mean normal disappointments. I mean BAD. Like, a fight with my dad or […]
I’ve been really up and down the last week. My zepbound dose increased and it’s been hard on my stomach; I’ve been throwing up and getting woken up with headaches and stuff. My routines are out of wack and I’m exhausted, so I’m barely functioning. I don’t watch much YouTube, but ended up there as […]
Some people will waste your time without hesitation. The two words that will let you know, without fail, that someone is going to waste your time, are, “convince me.” That idea is about you doing work for someone else, so that they feel empowered. It’s rooted in narcissism, ultimately. If you convince them, they won’t […]
It was 2017, and I was at a presentation about the path forward to win back the House and the Presidency. The entire presentation was about how to convince Trump voters to change their minds. I asked the question, “what about bringing people who don’t vote into the conversation? Or people who are marginalized in […]
The two hardest things I’ve had to learn, accept, then change about myself. The first was that the abuse and trauma I went through was real, and it changed me. It happened so young that I was changed. In the metaphysical ways we think about, like memory and our souls. But also in a physical […]
Healing and letting myself heal was one of the hardest things I ever did in my life. I’m still learning how to rest and take it easy on myself, while still keeping my drive and ambition fired up. One of the things I struggle with is creating a new normal for myself. My brain craves […]
I’ve been healing, planning, and working. About two months ago, I had an incredible healing breakthrough. It was enough of one that I realized I was done with therapy. I’d been honest, brave, and I’d done the work. That breakthrough came with incredible moments of synchronicity. In stories, when those coincidences come, audiences love them. […]
I’m a very rational person, who’s experienced a lifetime of incredibly irrational things. I decided a few months ago to let myself see, enjoy, and be inspired by beautiful coincidences, my interpretation of Jungian synchronicity. I had some long talks with my therapist about it in our last sessions together. The fictional character I felt […]
I don’t want to use the word normal, because what’s normal, but I haven’t felt like myself in a long time. That includes the way I would eat. When I was younger, I didn’t get these weird cravings, I slept more regularly, and I ate less than I do now. I just started a 2.5mg […]
Letting go, but allowing myself to remember, some of the writing I lost so long ago. Novels – The Adventures of Elmo Zagwaf – Mighty Hank, Godling Among Men – Bowl Chime Short Stories/Novellas – Scorpion House – Rocketship Eden – I Love Beans – S.H. Puttgrass Learns to Vote – Interstate – Defender of […]
I had a weird dream last night again. I’m at someone’s house, and their living room is covered in these strange mayflies. Only, they’re some kind of white and pink hybrid between mayflies and mosquitos. They keep crawling towards me, but when I blow, they puff away. But they keep crawling. The walls, the carpet, […]
I continued work on a piece about why I’m making Thigments https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lWgr87_k7nT11VTN0_rPmJgfX5SARY4wJSV0-awpuy0/edit I’ve been chasing this rainbow since 1997 in my own way, in fits and starts. My hope was that in New York, I’d learn how media becomes successful. I’ve learned a lot here, not the least of which that, strangely, I fit in […]