I just realized something. I think sometimes we mourn for ourselves. When you let go of past traumas, and finally deal with it all, you can experience grief. I know I did. And sometimes still do. For me, it’s loss that triggers grief. Losing a loved one because they’ve died. But also sometimes losing a […]
I’m stuck on two thoughts today. The first is about sharing. I see a lot of cultural narcissism, where social media feels designed for people who want to be seen and admired, and then teaches some of us to behave the same way. Like, in political and charitable sharing circles of social media there’s the […]
I just realized something. I’ve been trying to have it all. I want to maintain my high standards, including for myself. But I’ve been clinging to an idea about my career, the idea of pivoting out of the media industry towards something more socially impactful. If I can do this, it’ll be a gift. I […]
Hey Mom. I miss you. I love you. I’m doing good. Jade and Lee and everyone is well. You should see Justin and Tommy. Bill is good, too. Jade is so pretty and good-hearted. I chose today to start the next chapter of my life. I’ve been trying to write that book about you. But […]
This is the fourth anniversary of Mom’s passing. I missed saying goodbye to her. I was 30 pounds in on what would be a nearly 80 pound weight gain journey, all of it driven by sadness and struggling with CPTSD. I was 310 pounds on the day Mom died. I learned to mark days like […]
Anyone who knows me probably noticed why this picture is a big deal. I never wear stuff with logos on it. Maybe a Superman T-shirt like 30 years ago. But always a plain front. If I wear buttoned up shirts, maybe a tiny logo on the shirt pocket. But I prefer stuff without logos or […]
When I saw this poster, it reminded me of something I saw at breakfast that felt like a cool metaphor. I saw a young lady at breakfast. She looked Korean, and she was maybe 6’ 0”, possibly 6’ 1” or taller. She looked awkward. When she sat down to eat, she was trying to make […]
A Prayer for Los Angeles Protect the heroes of Los Angeles May their hearts stay connected to each other May the bludgeons of tyranny miss their bodies May they walk through the smoke and fires shot at them as if parting the fog of war itself Let their lives be a light and a blessing […]
When I look back I have gratitude for everyone in my life. But last year, about a year ago, I concluded a big chapter in my life. Then a new story started for me, one I’ve been living in. And what I’ve learned has been humbling and profound. I’ve invited a lot of folks into […]
Losing weight slowly but consistently has been challenging, but worth it. Every other time I ever lost weight it was a quick burst, followed by some kind of maintenance, with no change to underlying habits. Sticking with “no more than 2 pounds a week” is life changing. Everything about this has been different. I eat […]
Losing weight slowly but consistently has been challenging, but worth it. Every other time I ever lost weight it was a quick burst, followed by some kind of maintenance, with no change to underlying habits. Sticking with “no more than 2 pounds a week” is life changing. Everything about this has been different. I eat […]
I’m coming to a conclusion on a lot of things right now. That’s even one of my intentions this month, to close out some of the work and projects I’ve been doing. An example is the shadow journal I was working through; I finished the last entry a few days ago. I get sick about […]
Final Draft Based on posts I see on LinkedIn and other social media platforms, it’s clear, this job market is nerve wracking and has been for years. I see fear, anger, envy, punctuated by the occasional joyful, “I got the job!” celebrations and sobering advice posts on what to do, what not to do, and […]
It’s not that everyone lies. It’s that, some of us live in cultures that want us to lie, that teach us to lie, that require lying to be socially acceptable in order for powerful people to function. And sometimes, people lie in the face of that sociopathy to protect themselves. But it’s not a requirement […]
When you have CPTSD, one of the first things that you learn is that, yes, you might have trouble with being vulnerable. The way that I masked up and hid my vulnerabilities was two-fold. The first way was by being very charming. My mom had this kind of sparkly quality she could bring out, that […]
This week was another one of epiphanies and changes. But it was strange for me. I’ve felt for a while like I’ve been in moments that are recaps and tests of past lessons in my life. I’m not always noticing or even passing the tests. Some I do. But others are where I’m making mistakes […]
I feel reborn. I’ve felt reborn for months, but it hit me today. I’m tired. But it’s just the lingering of Covid. I feel less tired every day. But I walk like I did in my thirties again. I don’t wake up with pain. I can practically leap to my feet after meditation. My hunger, […]