Essays on connection, repair, and the occasional joke that saved my life. Fifty-odd of them, and counting.
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Notes on a Play – fred chong rutherford
When Mom was angry at me from the ages of 7 to 9, she’d say a phrase, 야메노새끼야. Yameno-seikiya. It…
The shame I held for so long, that came from being a child who believed if something was wrong it…
A year ago today, I had a spiritual transformation, mind, body and soul. It happened on a day filled with…
I moved into my apartment in October 2023. I was sad, depressed, angry, and grieving. I weighed 358 pounds, and…
Some people don’t have a narrative arc in their lives, not the long life or even short bursts. We have…
I’m anemic again, officially. All that blood loss from the last few months, I knew what I was feeling. Thank…
I took some time over the last few days to create a health journal, in the format of a commonplace…
I watch people around me closely. It’s deep in my nervous system. I’ve rewired so much of my behavior, and…
I was at a sleepover for the first time, at Kerry Niesen’s house, decades ago. We’d picked a movie and…
I have an app to track bowel movements, something easier to do on a phone than with pen and paper,…
I think my Mom and Dad both had levels of emotional immaturity, because of abuse and trauma they suffered as…
One way that narcissists behave is to cancel plans at the last minute, as a form of control. People with…
I learned to feel safe by caring for others. I couldn’t take feeling in danger, I hurt myself, and then…
A lot of people have had far too many skeptics in their life. Which can drive some to seek sycophants.…
I saw a little kid, screaming at the top of their lungs today, “my best friend is an immigrant! You…
A simple truth of life is that we all influence and shape it, through our actions and choices. This is…
I just woke up, and am feeling off. But I realized something. I’ve been holding on to an old identity,…
My last memory of Israel is from nearly 20 years ago. The intifada had ceased roughly six months before, and…
I release fixing my weaknesses, I embrace building my strengths. It’s time to escape the trap of the amateur for…